The Elephant In the Room

OK. Let's talk about my weight. Yep - I'm going there. 

Don't worry, the title of this blog does NOT refer to me as the elephant. That's self deprecating and self deprecation is unattractive. I'm not unattractive. ;)

The elephant in the room is letting my weight control me.

Since getting married I've gained weight. Not some weight -  a lot of weight. I'm in a place where I don't feel like myself. I feel like the real me is trapped under 50 unnecessary pounds. There's a disconnect that I don't like. I'm working really hard to lose that weight and I've lost 10 pounds so far! I have complete faith that if I continue my hard work I'll be back where I want to be.

So what is this post about?

Does your weight sometimes control you?

As a photographer I often hear that a client wants to wait to have their photos taken until they lose some weight. Or maybe during the shoot they want to see the back of the camera to see if they look fat. I always, always, always look at the client and think WHY? You look great! Your concern is unnecessary. I always think it's so silly that a client would put their engagement photos on hold based solely on their body weight.

And then I realize I'm a terrible hypocrite. 

In the last two years since I put on those pesky pounds - I've waited. I've put parts of my life on hold because I want to lose weight first before doing this or that. I don't want to take this trip yet because I want to be skinnier on vacation. So I don't go. I don't want to go out with friends this weekend because I feel fat. So I stay home and don't enjoy time with people I love. I haven't had ANY photos taken of me and Kyle since our wedding because I want to lose weight before doing a family photo shoot. Wait... isn't that what I just... oh, I see...

I DO IT TOO! And it's permeated every aspect of my life, including my business. I didn't have a headshot on my website until just recently because I didn't want my clients to see what I weigh (like they wouldn't be seeing me in person at our shoot?). I haven't posted any photos of myself to my Instagram or Facebook because I want to lose 50 pounds first. Well guess what. Losing 50 pounds takes time and I'm not going to continue to put life on the back burner until I can reach my ideal weight. 

The point? You shouldn't either. 

Whatever it is you're waiting on - STOP. Stop waiting and start doing.

During your engagement or wedding photos let's not worry about weight! Let's just document your happiness, your love, your relationship. Nobody else thinks you look fat. If YOU can stop thinking you look fat then you can go from having an uncomfortable photo shoot full of second guessing yourself to having a beautiful photo shoot that expresses your genuine joy in the moment. Doesn't that sound like a better idea? Let's do that instead.

I've decided not to give people advice I refuse to take. So here we are. This is me. No edits, no photoshopping, no tricks.